There inevitably will come a time in your life that the obligation of the season will prompt the dreaded, but necessary, gift for someone you cannot stand. It may happen every holiday, because that person could be your mother-in-law, your boss, your sister, your college buddy’s obnoxious kids or your best friend’s wife.
Don’t fear, you can use this opportunity to your advantage. All it takes is a little creativity and some fore-thought. Think about what you would give to someone you care for, and then do the exact opposite. Focus on what they love – to hate.
1) For repeated pleasure, the gift that keeps on giving is the magazine subscription to whatever they hate the most. If your father-in-law’s favorite holiday rant is about how all those g*d-damn [insert racial category here]‘s are ruining the g*d-damned neighborhood, make sure he’s on the mailing list for whatever group supports them wholeheartedly.
Donations in his name to The American Association for Affirmative Action would go over well, or the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) instead of NASCAR could do the trick. Don’t forget the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), not to be confused with the ALCS. Read the rest of this entry »
Just as Hollywood launched us into the summer movie season with Spider-Man 3 in early May, they’ve jumped the gun on the Christmas season with Fred Claus. However, this wasn’t as heartwarming as the umpteen radio stations playing Christmas music before Thanksgiving, ‘cause Fred Claus really sucked ass.
So that got us thinking… What other Christmas movies suck ass? For every It’s a Wonderful Life, there’s gotta be a crapstorm of a film to balance it out. So we looked at the holiday movies over the years, and we came up with our list.
To make the list, the film had to either be about Christmas (or Santa Claus) or have Christmas an integral part of the plot. (It can’t be like Gremlins, which did suck ass, but really was just set during Christmastime rather than being about the holiday.) Read the rest of this entry »
Christmas cake is an English tradition that began as plum porridge. People ate the porridge on Christmas Eve, using it to line their stomachs after a day of fasting. Soon dried fruit, spices and honey were added to the porridge mixture, and eventually it turned into Christmas pudding.
In the 16th century, oatmeal was removed from the original recipe, and butter, wheat flour and eggs were added. These ingredients helped hold the mixture together and in what resulted in a boiled plum cake. Richer families that had ovens began making fruit cakes with marzipan, an almond sugar paste, for Easter.
For Christmas, they made a similar cake using seasonal dried fruit and spices. The spices represented the exotic eastern spices brought by the Wise Men. This cake became known as “Christmas cake.” Read the rest of this entry »
Make Your List and Get it Right !
If you’re faced with shopping just before Christmas, you might want to use some of these ideas:
Plan a day to get out early or stay out late. Crowds are smaller just when stores open in the morning. During the last week of the shopping season, many mall stores open at 7 a.m. or 8 a.m. You can get a jump on the crowds and get a lot done before things get busy.
If you’re a night owl like me, plan to head to the mall with your shopping list after 9 p.m. for some last-minute shopping. Clerks are more available to help you and you won’t have to wait in line so long. Read the rest of this entry »
It’s that time again, when self-conscious men go shopping for underwear for their loved ones. Of course, they usually buy the wrong style, often in the wrong size. Reluctant shopper Neil Tweedie gets some sound advice.
Buy the wife a Black & Decker Workmate by all means. It’s a sensible gift from which she will derive years of pleasure while hopefully adding substantially to the value of the house. And, crucially, it’s an item comprehensible to the male mind. But bras and knickers? You’re just asking for trouble. Read the rest of this entry »
Christmas shopping can be seen as an absolute thrill and to some extent, as a necessary evil. It’s a thrill to be out and about amid the sights and sounds of the season and the jovial crowds. But for the same reasons, others dread shopping at Christmas time. These days, you don’t have to leave your home much or at all to get your Christmas and holiday shopping done.
That’s because the Internet puts shopping at your fingertips. And rather than competing with traditional retail sTores, the Internet has actually expanded the ability of traditional stores to sell more merchandise to a larger number of people in various locations.
Both large and small retailers can be found at their specialized Web sites on the Internet. Most will also offer selections that can be found in the store. Many times online retail sites will have additional items available, or access to additional items, that aren’t found in the store. Read the rest of this entry »
Shopping Strategies to Avoid Crowds and Find Gifts Everyone Will Love
Whether you’re shopping ahead of time or doing some last-minute shopping for Christmas, you’ll find some of our ideas helpful. Avoid the crowds, spend less money, and find gifts that everyone will really appreciate.
Try some of these ideas if you like to get your shopping done early, but want to be sure to get it right:
Shop Online
Almost every major retailer and specialty store has a website and offers online shopping. If you’re familiar with the quality of the products of the company, go for it. You can take care of all your shopping on one or two sites and find something for everyone. Books, plants, small appliances, toys, and clothing are easy to find. Read the rest of this entry »
How many times when Christmas comes along do we end up spending a large amount of money on gifts for friends, relatives and family, which are not the least bit personal, and regretting it afterwards ?
These days we often seem to get caught up in a rush to spend as much as possible on commercialized products when in fact we could save money and give much better presents if only we applied ourselves to hand-making them or something which will be of use to the person whom we are gifting.
The association of Gifts with the celebration of Christmas has almost become indispensable. Read the rest of this entry »
Have you been shopping lately ? No ? Here’s what you’re missing:
Thousands of people storming around in a fit of shopping rage, fighting for the last iPod on the shelf, dragging screaming kids along for hour after hour of mind-numbing browsing, all to the tune of revamped, remixed Christmas songs that somehow make that Boney M Christmas CD collecting dust on your shelf seem manageable.
Yep. Sure sounds like fun, doesn’t it? Thankfully, there’s a solution to your holiday shopping problems, and you’re looking right at it.
The following is a list of great Christmas gifts for guys, both ludicrously expensive and surprisingly cheap, that I hope will contain at least a couple of perfect gifts for the guys on your list. Read the rest of this entry »
Christmas, this year, will be a non-event. I’m disappointed, but realistically prepared. We don’t have a Christmas tree, we haven’t set out many decorations, and our shopping schedule has been extremely cramped as of late (fiscally and physically).
Santa Claus didn’t forget us, though; Ponzi’s been picking up items from my wish list, and I’ve been planning a stocking to end all stockings for her. It’s almost three in the morning here, and I’m wondering if I’ll even have time to pick up a screw for my glasses tomorrow (it fell out at some point this evening).
That would be a wonderful gift: time.
Ponzi says she only wants one thing this year for Christmas: a completely new wardrobe. Apparently, clothes go out of style after you wear them twice – and it’s only fashionable to wear 1/10th of the outfits 90% of the time ?
Well, that kind of gift is unrealistic. She thinks I’ve already seen my presents (as they’ve been coming in all sorts of boxes, mixed in with wedding registry gifts).
In my mind, the best Christmas present for her at this point is to match the amount she spent on me – letting her spend the same amount on her wardrobe, “guilt free.”
