Tokyu Hands is always a good place for frivolously blowing money on meaningless novelty tat like fluffy dog-turds and Mexican wrestler masks, as I learned the stupid way a few months ago, after drunkenly stumbling in there, post-pub, and buying a Japanese version of the classic game, “Pop-Up Pirate,” with the pirate inexplicably wearing black leather bondage gear.

The mind-boggling array of moderately amusing plastic trash in Tokyu Hands makes it the last resort for the totally desperate shopper, who really can’t think of a present to buy that difficult relative. I went there first, to save time. Inside, I spotted some characteristically odd seasonal gifts, like this startlingly realistic roast-turkey-hat.

This is sure to be snapped up by infantile office pranksters to wear at their Christmas parties (before they trudge forlornly home, alone, to eat their Christmas KFC.)
Being a true romantic, I think I’ll buy one for my girlfriend. I’m sure she’ll love it.

Tokyu Hands also had these charming “his n’ hers” flesh-coloured socks, complete with painted nails for the ladies, and hairs for the gentlemen. Perfect for Mum and Dad.

If you’re looking for a more practical present you could do a lot worse than the Robomop, a robotic mop which cleans the kitchen all buy itself- a lazy person’s dream. I’d be tempted to buy one for myself if my kitchen wasn’t the size of a Monopoly board.

If Robomop doesn’t tickle your fancy, here’s a cute, new idea- give a loved one’s toilet a makeover. Tokyu Hands will convert a dull, conventional commode into a souped-up, supercharged robocrapper. Pimp someone’s Potty this Xmas!

My next port of call was the mysteriously-monikered “Donkey Hotei”. The name seems to be a pun on “Don Quixote,” but I’m not sure what the connection to 17th Century Spanish literature is, since it’s a big shop cluttered with multi-coloured junk and shelves overspilling with cheap and cheerful novelty goods. I came here hoping to buy some toys for my nephews and nieces, and was alarmed to find this diabolical contraption in the toy department, of all places.

It seems to be a microscope for analyzing your own jizz. Evidently sperm are the new sea monkeys. But what kind of warped sicko watches his own tadpoles wriggling around for entertainment?
I suppose if you have a teen-aged brother, he’d make use of it.

This wasn’t my only shocking discovery on my quest for toys. A toy shop in Ginza was still selling these decidedly un-pc Golliwogs. Be careful who you give one of those to for Christmas, or you might be banded a bastard.

I decided to pass on the Gollies, and look for something a little less controversial for the kids.
I have to say, toy-shopping in Tokyo is endless fun, and Japan leads the world in producing cool stuff for kids. There are endless supplies of quirky, high-tech gizmos and cuddly characters to be found on every street of Tokyo.
A character that has become popular recently is the “Oshiri Kajiri Mushi” (buttock-biting bug.) An infestation of fleas is not normally cause for celebration, but this character, pictured below, has taken the nation by storm this year, and even released a chart-topping single.

I bought some Oshiri Kajiri Mushi toys, and so ended my Christmas shopping adventure. I think I made some pretty unique purchases.
At least when you send someone a present from Japan you know they definitely won’t have it already.

Weeks before the day, people buy lots of hens, turkeys, goats and cows. Children hover around the beasts, taunting, and mostly gawking at them. There are feverish preparations for travel, holiday, and exchange of gifts, caroling and all manner of celebration.

On Christmas Eve, traditional meals are prepared. In Yoruba, such meals usually include Iyan, (pounded yam) eba or amala, served with peppery stewed vegetables.

People find themselves eating this same meal three to four times on that day, as they are offered it at every house they visit; and according to Yorùbá customs, it was considered rude to decline to eat when offered food.

Other meals include rice served with chicken stew, which is a bit similar to the Indian curry stew. Some families would include a delicacy called Moin-moin; which is blended black eyed beans, mixed with vegetable oil and diced liver, prawns, chicken, fish and beef.

The concoction is then wrapped in large leaves and then steamed until cooked.

Another tradition is that of decorating homes (compounds) and churches with both woven and unwoven palm fronds, Christmas trees and Christmas lights.

There are the festive jubilations on the streets, the loud crackling of fireworks and luminous starry fire crackers going off, traditional masquerades on stilts parading about and children milling about displaying their best clothes, or Christmas presents.

There are no other celebrations that compare to Christmas festivities in Nigeria, where everyone can personalize their own festival, and one family’s gusto merges with others; both physically and psychologically, creating a universe of fun and bonhomie.

Source: Wikipedia

Christmas is very special to many Britons, as it is a mainly religious festival, that everyone can enjoy. The Christmas season starts at Advent, where holly wreaths are made with three pink, one pink and one purple candle, however many shops sell christmas decorations beforehand, and lasts until 6 January, as it is considered bad luck to have Christmas decorations up after this date.

On Christmas Eve, presents are delivered in stockings and under the Christmas tree by Father Christmas, who previously had been something like The Ghost of Christmas Present in Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, but has now become mainly conflated with Santa Claus.

The two names are now used interchangeably and equally known to British people, but Father Christmas tends to be used more often, and some distinctive features still remain. Many families tell their children traditional christmas stories, about Father Christmas and his reindeer.

One main tradition is to put out a plate of Carrots (for the reindeer) and Mince pies and sherry for Father Christmas, to help him on his way.

On Christmas Day, nearly the whole population has the day off to be with their family and friends, so they can gather around for a traditional Christmas meal, which is mainly a turkey or other meats, along with cranberries, parsnips, roast potatoes, quite like the Sunday roast, followed by a Christmas Pudding.

After or sometimes during the meal, Christmas crackers are often pulled containing toys, jokes and a paper hat. Another tradition is Carol singing, where many carols are sung by children on people’s doorsteps, to raise money, and professional choirs or groups. Others traditions include sending Christmas cards to friends and family.

On the whole, although Christmas has become a bit commercialised, the British christmas is still very traditional.

In public, most shops have decorations and lights, especially in town centres, where the whole community chips in, even in Indian and Chinese restaurants.

Churches and Cathedrals across the country hold masses, with many people, going to midnight mass, or a service on Christmas morning.

Even though church attendance has been falling over the decades, many people who don’t go to church often think it is still important to go on Christmas, so Church attendance increases significantly.

Notably, for Catholics, it is one of the main Holy Days of Obligation.

Christmas in Scotland was traditionally observed very quietly, because the Church of Scotland – a Presbyterian Church – never placed any great emphasis on the Christmas festival, for various reasons. Hogmanay is traditionally the largest celebration in Scotland, as a result Christmas Day was a normal working day in Scotland until the 1960s and even into the 1970s in some areas.

The gift-giving, public holidays and feasting associated with mid-winter were held between the 31 December and 2 January rather than between 24 December and 26 December.

However, since the 1980s, and the fading of the Church’s influence as well as influences from outside Scotland due to immigration and the media, Christmas and related festivities are now on a par with Hogmanay and “Ne’erday”.

Many London and provincial theatres have a tradition of “putting on” a Christmas pantomime for children. The pantomime stories are traditionally based on popular children’s stories such as Little Red Riding Hood and Aladdin, rather than being directly concerned with the Christmas story as such, although there is sometimes a link.

Television is widely watched: for many television networks, Christmas Day is the most important day of the year in terms or ratings. Many Britons still watch the Queen’s annual Christmas message.

The Celebration of Boxing Day on the day after Christmas Day is a tradition practiced in the UK. It is a bank holiday, and if it happens to fall on a weekend, then a special bank holiday Monday will occur.

Source: Wikipedia

It plays an extremely important role in both religious and secular aspects of Irish life.

Although religious devotion in Ireland today is considerably less than it used to be, there are huge attendances at religious services for Christmas Day, the most popular service by far being Midnight Mass.

Most families get their deceased relatives prayed for at these Masses as it is a time of remembering the dead in Ireland. It is traditional to decorate graves at Christmas with a wreath made of holly and ivy.

Even in the most un-devout of homes in Ireland the traditional crib takes centre-piece along with the Christmas tree as part of the family’s decorations.

In the secular side of Irish society, Christmas is the biggest event of the year. Almost the entire workforce is finished by lunchtime on Christmas Eve or often a few days beforehand.

Christmas Day and St. Stephen’s Day are public holidays and many people do not return to work until after New Year’s Day. Irish people spend more and more money each year on celebrating Christmas. In 2006, the total amount spent in Ireland to celebrate Christmas was €16 billion, which averages at approximately €4,000 for every single person in the country.

Santa Claus, known in Ireland simply as Santy or Daidí na Nollag in Irish, brings presents to children in Ireland, which are opened on Christmas morning. Family and friends also give each other gifts at Christmas.

The traditional Christmas dinner consists of turkey and ham with a selection of vegetables and a variety of potatoes, as potatoes still act as a staple food in Ireland despite the popularization of staples such as rice and pasta.

Dessert is a very rich selection of Christmas pudding, Christmas cake, and mince pies with equally rich sauces such as brandy butter.

Christmas celebrations in Ireland finish with the celebration of Little Christmas on 6 January. This festival, which coincides with the Epiphany, is also known as Women’s Christmas in Cork.

Source: Wikipedia

The Three Wise Men are popular in the South and Père Noël in the North, but there is also another character which is well known in both sides of the Pirineess, called Olentzero.

Olentzero was a pagan coal worker who went to adore Jesus to Bethleem. Nowadays, it is said that he brings presents to all good people at Christmas Eve.

Source: Wikipedia

Children put their shoes by the fireplace so Père Noël (Father Christmas) can give them gifts. Many French families also decorate their homes with Nativity Scenes depicting the birth of Jesus.

Many families attend midnight mass. Some people put additional Santons (little saints) in their nativity scenes, which are bought at special Christmas fairs before the holidays

Source: Wikipedia

Source: Wikipedia

This sparks minor controversy each year over when it is “appropriate” to start celebrating Christmas, with shopkeepers preferring to start the lucrative Christmas season immediately after Sinterklaasavond (sometimes putting up decorations even earlier) while others argue that the “foreign” and “commercial” Christmas impinges too much on the traditional Sinterklaas celebrations.

Considering the ancestry of Santa Claus, it has truly been said that Sinterklaas is in competition with himself here.

The present-giver in children’s folklore in The Netherlands and Belgium is a Santa-ish character called Sinterklaas or Sint Nicolaas. Like Father Christmas in Germany, Sinterklaas is often accompanied by a black helper named Zwarte Piet (Black Pete) who punishes disobedient children.

Sinterklaas wears a tall bishop’s hat and carries a crooked staff. He is said to reside in Spain, and in mid-November he arrives by steamboat, an event which is often acted out in the many coastal communities of the Low Countries.

Dutch children leave their shoes out on many nights in the run-up to the actual celebration, to find them filled with small treats in the morning. December 5 (The Netherlands) and December 6 (Belgium) are traditionally recognized as the main gift-giving days of the Low Countries, with December 25 being a lower-key, more religious event.

In recent years Dutch and Belgian cultures have also incorporated Santa Claus into their traditions, with him and Sinterklaas being recognized as two distinct characters.

Walloons call Sint Nicolaas Saint Nicolas and Zwarte Piet Père Fouettard (Whipping Father).

Christians and a large amount of people having a Christian background go to church for Christmas. The Roman-catholic service is on Christmas eve, the Protestant churches in the Netherlands have their Christmas service on 25 December.

This service is normally kept somewhat simpler compared to normal services, with more attention to the children and the singing of famous old Christmas hymns. Since the end of the 20th centuries, some Protestant churches also have services on Christmas eve.

Due to the high amount of church abandoning during the last few centuries, a lot of old churches have been closed. However, the amount of people that want to visit a church service with Christmas seems to be as large as several years ago. Therefore, the remaining churches become too small to accommodate all the attendants with Christmas.

Source: Wikipedia

The pagan feast of Saturnalia coincides with the Christian advent, and the holiday season there spans from these weeks through Epiphany.

Food, religious observances, nativity displays, and gift-giving are prominent.

On Christmas Eve, Italians celebrate “La Vigilia”, or the Feast of the seven fishes. In some regions, presents are brought on Epiphany by La Befana, and in others by Baby Jesus on Christmas day or eve.

In recent years Babbo Natale (literally, Father Christmas), a Santa Claus-like figure, is becoming more common.

Source: Wikipedia

This name is likely to come from an old Finnish tradition, where people dressed in goat hides called nuuttipukkis used to circulate in homes after Christmas eating leftover food.

Today Joulupukki looks and behaves mostly like his American version, but there are differences. Joulupukki’s workshop is situated, not in the North Pole or Greenland, but in Korvatunturi, Lapland, Finland. He does not sneak in through the chimney during the night, but knocks on the front door during Christmas eve.

When he comes in, his first words usually are: “Onkos täällä kilttejä lapsia?” (Are there (any) good children here?)

He usually wears red, warm clothes and often carries a wooden walking stick. He visits people’s homes and rides a sleigh pulled by a number of reindeer. Joulupukki has a wife, Joulumuori (Mother Christmas), who knows how to make very delicious Christmas porridge, riisipuuro (rice porridge).

Source: Wikipedia